i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
