you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
