I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
