every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
