Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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