Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
