What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
