We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
