My Higher Power is John Stamos
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
