he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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