Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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