Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
