i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
sarcasm needs its own font
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
