hotel room ftw
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
