And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize