remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
