Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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