good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
