found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
