You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
