the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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