Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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