he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
