I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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