I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Randomize
