shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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