If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize