Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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