Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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