We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
