I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
