i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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