doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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