Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
