ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
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but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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