Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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