Dual....:-)
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
