is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
