I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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