Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
