How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
