I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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