I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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