Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
