he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
