Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
