so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
