My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
