I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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