"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize