Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this will be a night to untag.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
