she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she pinky promised me she was 18
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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