Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize