Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
