she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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