Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Success! We fucked roommates!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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