YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
