Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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