Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
