Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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