I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
